So Here We Go

Here it is 2014.  I'm not really making any resolutions this year.  One thing that has been eating at the back of my brain has been getting back to blogging.  I think of so many stories I want to get written down, and I have so many ideas, but they just never make it here.  So I am going  really try to do more blogging this year.  To actually keep up on what is going on around us.  

Now, I'm just not sure where I want this space to go.  Maybe this is going  be a rant about how I feel, a journal for us to remember the things that we have done and our journey as a family, or maybe it is going to just be about how I'm trying to remember to keep the damn goldfish alive because like I really need one more thing to worry about.  Whatever it is I hope it is more.  

Right now I am feeling a little stressed. Zach is gone for 6 weeks for training in California.  While him being gone doesn't really stress me out it is the little things that just add up.  Before he left I asked him if he had any ideas of things I could do to make his time away easier on myself and the boys.  Of course he came up with nothing.  I thought about the stressful parts of my day.  The things that really seem to be the most difficult around here.  

1. The dishes

2. The laundry

3. After school/dinner

4. Going out to do things

I've been brainstorming on ways I can try to relieve some of the stress from these areas in my life.  Starting with the dishes.  I don't know what, but I hate dealing with the dishes.  I hate loading and unloading the dishwasher.  I hate them piling up in our sink.  I hate how our dishwasher is horrible, and doesn't clean them the right way anyway and how you can't fit everything you need to in there.  So other than going all paper plates and plastic utensils I've been thinking about what I could do in this area.  I've decided on an experiment.  I've set aside the three of us each our own place setting 1 plate, 1 bowl, and Jack and I have a larger bowl that we sometimes like to use.  I moved all the other dishes up out of the way so I won't be tempted to just grab them.  I figured this way I can choose to use the paper plates we have, or hand wash our dishes after each meal.  I don't love hand washing dishes either, but hey it is done and over with.  I'm going to see if this eases some of my stress and hatred towards the dishes.  I figure baby steps.  See what works.  

Last Day Of Kindergarten

Jack had his last day of kindergarten today.  He's a big first grader now.  That is hard to believe.  Sometimes I look at this tall lanky kid, and I wonder where he came from.  He's so big.  It really does go so fast.  He's so sweet, such a big heart. I'm amazed with all the thing she learned this year.  Such a boom for him socially and academically.  I can't imagine what first grade is going to bring for us.  We are so proud of him, and all of the things he has accomplished this year.  It is a blessing to watch him grow.  Becoming his own person more and more.

I just made him crawl into my lap and let me love on him.  Let me give him kisses and stare at the spattering of cute freckles across his nose.  I hope he lets me do that when he's seven.  Six is so magical, I love this age he's a fun kid.

Wading and Waiting

I kind of feel like we got jipped out of the weekend, it went by so quickly.  Zach had mini bootcamp with his poolees all day Saturday.  We were sure missing him after him being gone all week in St. Louis.  He came home fried and dead.  We made it through half of a movie before calling it a night.  

I can't tell you how much I look forward to Sundays now that we have found a church we like.  It is one of those bigger churches with a huge congregation.  We've been going for a little over a month I think.  When we first stepped into the church I got an overwhelming feeling.  It felt like home.  It felt amazing.  It was very similar to our church The Rock that we attended in San Diego.  My only regret is that we didn't try this church sooner.

When we first moved here we thought we would try a smaller church.  That it might be a better way for us to connect with the community and make some friends.  I'll admit we didn't try very hard to find a church home, and we just tried the one.  We tried to make it work, but it just didn't fit us.  We liked the Pastor, but we couldn't get into the music and songs they sang.    The church really pushed community and fellowship, but all we felt was left out.  Everyone already seemed to know one another, and even though we were going every week the same people kept introducing themselves to us.  We felt a bit invisible.  It didn't help that with Zach's work hours we couldn't ever attend the small groups that met in the week during the evening.  So we stopped going, and we didn't look for any other churches.  

I really felt God telling me we needed to be in church.  That we needed to find a place to go.  I tried to ignore it, but God is hard to ignore.  So we decided one weekend to try our new church, and we all love it!  Jack can't wait for Sunday school.  It fills my heart to see him so excited, saying he can't wait to see his Sunday school teacher.  

Back to our weekend.

Zach was kind to let me sleep in on Sunday.  Poor thing was up at first morning light.  We really need something to block out the light in our bedroom.  I can sleep through anything, and I did it was great.  We go to the late service in the afternoon, so we have plenty of time to relax a bit in the morning.  

This Sunday's service was particularly poignant to our lives right now.  We are working through a passage about journeys about Joseph, son of Israel and his brothers.  It brought tears to my eyes thinking about our journey right now in life.  Dealing with the unknowns of Zach's job, and the crossroads before us.  At the end of the service they asked for people to come down for prayer and for healing.  Everything in me was telling me that we needed to go, but I was hesitant.  I've never made a step like that in church before.  I kept singing and watching others walk down to the front, and God kept shouting at me to go.  I turned to Zach and asked if he felt he should go himself, and he gave me a firm no, almost sounding upset.  So I kept singing and God kept telling me I make a move.  So I asked Zach if he would go down with me, and he agreed.  An Elder prayed for us and our situation.  I thanked Zach for going down with me.  

The service ended and we picked up the boys.  Both happy as could be.  As we were leaving church walking to the car Zach turned to me and said, "Don't thank me for going with you.  Thank you for taking me down there."  My heart just filled.  He told me he knew he needed to go down there, but wouldn't have made the decision on his own.  I feel so blessed knowing God is working on both of our hearts.  

The rest of the day was filled with the usual Sunday chores.  The grass had to be mowed.  Zach worked on the brakes of the car.  I'm so proud of him for that.  Something that I know is difficult, and he gave it a go anyway.  He should be able to complete them next weekend.  I spur of the moment bought a cheap baby wading pool that was on sale at Toys R' Us.  I thought it might give Grayson a bit of entertainment outside, but Jack insisted on getting in it too.  It was quite comical.  They loved it, and our neighbor came out and joined us.  It was lovely.  Hopefully, we can spend a few more hot days like that this summer.  Pictures to come.  

I hope you all had a great weekend.  I'm already ready for the next one! 

Grayson 14 months

Little man is getting so big.  

He's saying several words Dadda, Mama, hi, bye-bye, and up.  

He's crawling all over the house.  He pulls up and cruises from one object to the next.  Still no interest in standing on his own or walking.  He's proven to us that all of these things will happen in his own time.

I think about his personality, and I'm not sure how to describe him.  I wouldn't call him wild, but he's not Mr. Laid Back either.  He's busy.  Busy all the time.  

He and I have been butting heads the past few days.  He has been very clingy.  Wants to be right with me, and he wants to be held.  Holding up his arms whining and crying.  I was telling Zach that I don't really remember Jack ever being that way.  The thing is Grayson doesn't like to cuddle.  He might want you to be holding him, but he's not going to be still while you are doing it.  He's busy twisting his body all around to check everything out.  Busy talking. Busy pointing at everything.  It makes me really tired.  I wouldn't mind him wanting to cling to me so much if he would just sit calmly on my lap.  Nope not this boy.  

He has a temper.  Something we NEVER saw with his brother.  Jack never ever through a fit.  Not once.  We were very lucky.  I'm pretty sure Grayson will have fit throwing mastered by age two.  Grayson is so much more ornery than Jack ever was.  I say he's just a little less sweet, and a bit more mischievous.  He's quick to get mad (Lord help me) and he's already thrown himself down a few times kicking and throwing his legs around.  Luckily, these aren't everyday occurrences.  Yet. 

He's a fairly good eater.  He won't eat meat.  Once in a while he'll take a few bites of a hamburger, but usually just spits it back out.  He's my little vegetarian.  He doesn't like carrots either.  I've tried to give them to him several times.  Sometimes I can sneak a few in, but he usually spits them out.  Other than that he's a good eater.  He likes to feed himself, but halfway through the meal he gets lazy.  I have to feed him the rest.  He just has his two bottom teeth so I'm always surprised at all the stuff he manages to eat.  His favorites right now are green beans, strawberries (he can eat an entire container himself), black beans, and cauliflower.  

The School Year Is Coming To A Close

Jack is finishing up his first year of school.  His kindergarten year is almost over.  We are both getting very excited about summer.  He said he's going to miss his friends, but that he's looking forward to being home to spend time with me.  (Melt my heart. I don't think I'll have very many more summers of that)  I know I am at the point where I am looking forward to it being finished.  It has been a great year, but there isn't much more he can do.  It is getting a little tedious.  

He really has a fantastic year.  Learning so much.  Testing above average, and reading above his grade level.  That makes me so proud.  Reading isn't always so easy for boys, and I hope he keeps up his love of books.  He's had his struggles too.  He's a slow worker often coming home with assignments still left to work on.  He's had a hard time working independently.  His teacher has said he's made great strides that second half of the year.  

In the beginning and middle of the year he really had a problem with talking.  He'd come home with a bad report, and it was always for talking.  It didn't surprise me in the least.  He is Mr. Chatty Cathy.  He talks non-stop when he's here with us.  To us, to himself, just talk, talk, talk.  I think some of it comes from being like an only child.  He has to entertain himself.  He and I have had long hard talks about following the rules, and being quiet.  These last few months he's had nothing but good reports I'm so proud of his efforts.  

His reading skills impress me everyday.  He loves to bring home his weekly library book.  I wish I had kept track of the titles he's picked.  It is always a surprise.  We got a letter from his teacher telling us he's reading above his grade level.  I was playing the waiting game at the doctor's office the other day, and I asked him to read me the signs around the room.  He came to one, and read the world diabetes.  He read it without stumbling and pronounced it right and everything.  That shocked me.  I'm excited to start reading chapter books together before bed.  He's asking to start the Magic Treehouse series.  

  

Picnic Lunch

Grayson, decided to sleep half the day today.  He didn't get up until 11:45.  It was supposed to be a gorgeous day so I decided we were going to get out of the house, and enjoy it.  At about 9:00 in the morning I packed lunches, and I got everything ready for a fun picnic at the park.  Then we waited and waited for Grayson to get up.  I was glad to see him sleep in though.  He hasn't been napping very well.  Trying to drop either his morning or afternoon nap, and this has left him quite cranky everyday. 

We made it to the park, and set out our spread.  I can't seem to leave the house these days without a suitcase of stuff.  Everyone has to have their drinks, and snacks, and extra stuff crammed into a bag.  We picked a shady spot and the boys chowed down on their pb&j's.  

Jackson found a stick and he decided it was fun to throw it all around the open grass.  He also ran tree to tree having me time him with the stopwatch on my phone.  Grayson headed out to try to chase his big brother.  I loved the trail of grass he left behind him as he crawled.  He's not afraid of anything.  The dirt and grass don't bother him at all.  He also loves to find a good stick.  He starts swinging them wildly, and they all become swords.  Something he has learned from his big brother. 

We took some time for the playground too.  Grayson on the swings, they get his tummy so he doesn't last long on them.  Then both boys climbing on the equipment.  I've noticed the changes in Jack, and how he plays on the playground since he's been going to school.  Slides and equipment he was once cautious about he's playing on with no hesitation.  He's quick to turn around and go down the big twisty slide backwards, something he wouldn't have done before.  He climbs higher and he goes faster.  It amazes me to sit back and watch him.  Just something else he's accomplished in his time aways from me.  He's getting so big and so brave.  

Grayson also likes to be brave on the playground equipment.  He uses the time to practice getting up the stairs.  He's not quite sure how to get down them just yet.  He had fun chasing Jack in the tube.  He never had enough grip to make it to the top so he'd just slide back down and start again.  He and I had fun going down the twisty slide together.  I'm braver at the park too this spring, Dad is usually the go-to guy for playing at the park.  

This is what you can find Jack doing most of the time when he's outside, digging in the dirt.  He loves it.  He goes in our backyard and just digs holes forever.  Pretending to have a construction site.  Today he was pretending to have dinosaur bones to dig up.  Had to get a picture of him digging and squatting.  Zach and I laugh at this stance he takes.  He's done it since he was a baby, and he can sit like that forever.  Maybe, he'll be a catcher one day.  

Of course what do you have to do after hours at the park on a hot day? You have to stop and get ice cream.  No, pictures but both boys enjoyed it.  Then what do you have to do after you get ice cream? You have to go to Hobby Lobby of course because it is right across the street.    

One of my favorite stores to wander around.  I love all the things.  We did pick up another sword.  Jack has a foam sword from there that he's had forever, but his is broke in half.  This makes it the perfect size for Grayson though, and he loves to play with it.  So we stopped and picked up a new sword for Jack so he can keep up with the wild boy play that goes on with his brother and Dad.

It was a beautiful day, and I hope the beginning of more fun filled days as our summer approaches. Ten more days left of school, not that I'm counting or anything.   

Fresh Start

I have so many things I want to blog about.  I have blogger guilt.  Guilt for basically dropping this blog.  I keep trying to pick it back up, and I just haven't been able to.  I've thought long and hard about if I even want to keep blogging.  The answer is yes.  Yes, I want to keep blogging about our lives.  I love to write, but I have been struggling to find the words.  Struggling to find the time.  Struggling to find the passion I once had.  I am an avid picture taker and you can find me on Instagram everyday @amyw319  I love snapping those pictures and capturing those moments.  I want to find the time to tell the stories of our lives too.  

I have so much guilt that so much of Jack's first years are so documented, and here Grayson is a year and he barely has anything.  A guilt trip my husband likes to send me on at least once a week.  It drives me crazy, and makes me feel even worse, but I'm so happy that he takes an interest.  That he loves to look back and read the stories of our family.  

I'll admit that I lost interest when I never got any comments.  That is obviously what it shouldn't be about, but I found it hard to write feeling I didn't have an audience.  (As if reading about our little lives are even that interesting.) I've thought about making the blog private to take some of the pressure off.  Maybe, that would jump start my confidences again.  

Blogging had stopped feeling organic to me.  It felt forced.  Like just another task on my list. Something else to worry about. 

Right now, I am just going to dive back in.  Start our story again, and hopefully log some backlogs.  I need this to be for my boys.  For our family.  I am grateful for any of you that are still with me, and want to share in our journey.