Running Ragged

I have been struggling with our evening time.  Jack gets off the bus, and I feel like I'm running until I crash in bed. Usually, way later than I should be awake.  There are so many things to be done in the evening.  My husband is a Marine recruiter, and we are currently on recruiting duty.  We are (cross our fingers) in our 3rd and final year of this duty.  This duty is hell, and really I wish I had blogged about our experiences more.  Maybe, I will get to that someday.  

In over two years  I can count less than 5 times that Zach has been home for dinner during the week, and to include some weekends.  Much less home to help with anything else in the evening.  He's home 9:30-10:00pm and that's on a good night.  So I am running ragged in the evening, and something about adding school to the mix has just made things worse.  There is what is referred to as "solo parenting" on the internet.  Where Moms complain that they had to solo parent because Dad is out of town for a few days, or they have to do a solo bedtime because Dad is working late one night.  I read these and I just laugh because I want to say you are bitching about 3 days?! Try it for over two years sister!  Then I feel horrible because I shouldn't judge I know things are different for everyone.  

Our nights look like this:

• Jack after school snack
• We do homework and organize his school papers for the next day
• Attempt some dinner for Grayson (he's hating solids so I'm thinking about giving this up for now)
• Cook dinner 
• Eat Dinner
• Grayson in the bath
• Grayson out and Jack in the bath
• Get Grayson in his pj's and start his wind down time for bed 15-30 minutes. Nursing, reading stories, and quiet time.  (Jack's playing in the bath during this time)
• Get Grayson in bed (sometimes this goes smoothly, but other times not so much. He's becoming a night owl)
• Get Jack out of the bath
• Get him in his pjs
• Get clothes, backpack, and everything ready for the next day
• Bedtime snack (sometimes not always)
• Jack stories for bed and lights out
• Clean up dinner and the kitchen
• Pick up the living room
• Zach gets home--Heat his dinner up
• Talk about our days
• Watch some tv together.  This is what makes for the late nights.  If we want any time together we have to be up until midnight.  
• Throw in there several nursing sessions, playtime for Jack, and me trying to manage Grayson while I'm doing other things like cooking, etc. 

Usually, the later in the evening it gets the more tired and snappier I get.  I'm seriously thinking about cooking our dinner in the afternoons when I have more time and just heating it up.  Something about that just seems wrong.  What a dream it would be to have another set of hands to turn to for some of this stuff.  There are nights when things flow so beautifully, and I stop and wonder what it was that made it  different. 

 One night this week Grayson was asleep at 7:00 and Jack was in bed by 8:15 it was a miracle.  Then there are the nights when Jack is still awake at 9:15 and I have to tell him I am just too tired for stories, while throwing Grayson in the swing in hopes that it gets him to calm down and close his eyes.  Then I think about what my husband comes home to.  A tired and frazzled wife.  That makes me feel guilty too.