I feel like every time I start to make some headway I just slam into another brick wall. I mean seriously when is this rain cloud going to leave? So the stress consumes me and I hate it. I sit and I think about my Mom. I think about how I would do anything to be able to talk to her. Anything to be able to talk things through with her. Anything to have that love and support from her. Instead I sit here. My brain all mushy, my cheeks tear stained, and I worry.
Getting Nowhere Fast
I have so much stress in my life right now it is a wonder I am not bald. Just when I think one thing is over with another thing pops up. We had some major family stresses over the summer, that I was just starting to feel like maybe I could talk about it. Now, not so much. I am pretty superstitious when it comes to things. When things aren't going well for some reason I feel like talking about them is just going to make it worse. Let this next bump in the road smooth out, and maybe I can bring it up. What I can't figure out is what to do all day. The stress and the anxiety eats me up inside. It consumes my brain. I can't sleep. This is why I am up at 3:00 in the morning. I cry, I get mad, and I worry, worry, worry. When people say not to worry that whatever is going to happen will happen, I want to kick those people in the shin. These days when things go down it doesn't just have an affect on me, I have two kids I have to worry about.
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Oh Amy, I'm so sad to read this. About a year and a half ago I was in the same place. I would lay awake and just worry, about anything and everything. It was terrible. I was mean and not a happy person. Have you been to a doctor? I've been on Zoloft now for 1 1/2 years and it has made an incredible difference in my life. Of course the stresses won't go away, but it helps your brain cope with them better. Just a thought. I just hate to see someone feel like this, it brings back bad memories. Take care of yourself.
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